Dear Marketers of Brands I Love,
Please unsubscribe me from your newsletters. While I am still interested in your products, we apparently had a misunderstanding about your emails. I thought that I was signing up to receive information about your products and services and an occasional sale email.
It turns out that my inbox is filled with incessant notifications about sales. Some of you even send me emails several times a day. At first, I thought that it was simply the timing. Now, I know that all you do is think up different sale promotions and revise last week’s email to make it appear fresh.
Sorry, but it smells like a dead fish to me. I want information in my email. If you are selling fashion, tell me what is in style and how to update my wardrobe. If you are offer home improvement supplies, I definitely could have used some information on laying tile last week. It might have saved me a 60 mile round trip to my local store. (Yes, I live way out in the country. It is how I find my peace.)
Or, if you are in the book business, I don’t need to know about the latest romance novels. I don’t read them. I buy enough from you that you should know that I am a business, classic literature, Patricia Cornwell, Max Lucado reader who sometimes ventures into sports, history, and cooking. Don’t waste my time with the other stuff.
I don’t want to forget those of you who offer children’s products. I have two tweens, one of each sex. I signed up for your “reminders” so you would know that I am interested in appropriate products for them. I have NEVER bought games of violence and don’t need baby products at this time.
And finally, lest I forget, when I click the unsubscribe link and opt out, it really means that I don’t want to receive email from you. It doesn’t mean that I don’t want to receive email from that address but I still want to hear from you. No, no, no, no, no! Opt out means “don’t call me, I’ll call you”.
Please take unsubscribe me as soon as possible. Thank you for your time.
Me
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